Does anyone remember the days before social media, when you either had to watch the news, go to the library, read the paper and other publications, or be friends with the “neighborhood” gossip, to be able to find things out that are so readily available because of the Internet today?
What prompts this is some searching I was doing on Facebook, because I wanted to catch up with what’s going on with people who don’t often come up in my News Feed. You can learn a lot about someone by the pages they like, the comments they make, etc., that you might not otherwise learn, or that they wouldn’t volunteer about themselves for whatever reason. Maybe they want to keep their known public persona because truly revealing who they are would cost them, whether it be financial, loss of friendships or family support, or loss of followers, since we live in a time when that seems to be important for a lot of people.
I don’t admit to searching others’ pages lightly; it makes you seem nosy or insecure or that you have nothing better to do. I don’t know that I would call it an admirable trait, unless you want to be a private detective. But sometimes you have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind, perhaps regarding a marriage or relationship, that things are not what they seem – something seems “off” and you are tempted to further investigate to validate your suspicions. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
My past “investigative abilities” have revealed one ex-husband who was involved in something illegal and another ex-husband (who was a boyfriend at the time) who was cheating on me, and had even taken the woman on a vacation at the very same time that I was at the same location vacationing with my family! Do you think his subconscious wanted him to be found out? Would it have been better for me to remain in the dark? Did knowing some of the things I did affect my own actions?
Staying in the dark might have given me a false sense of security for a while. But I believe that truth always comes to light. Perhaps not right away. But it always comes to light. My own feeling is that it’s always better to deal with the known than the unknown, no matter the potential hurt it may cause us. In the long run, the hurt will lessen, and we can always gain something valuable from the situation. And we can put ourselves in a position to help others who are going through some of the same things we have, so they can see there is light at the end of the tunnel.
After several of my “discoveries” I almost wished I could turn back the clock and just let ignorance be bliss. But we humans have this insatiable thirst for information – even if it’s unfavorable. It’s as though it elevates us somehow if we know something before someone else does. And it’s so easy to come by.
Okay, back to searching. I was looking at the Facebook page of an acquaintance this evening who doesn’t post that much, but I had remembered accidentally (really) coming across information a few years ago that her daughter had identified as male and was going through a transition. I hadn’t heard any updates, but some posts were apparent that the family was going through some tough times, so I did a search of the daughter, which was fairly easy because she is a successful writer.
I then learned more information than I really wanted to know. Most of this family, whose children are grown, is now fractured because of betrayal, pedophilia, and other secrets that have torn this family apart and cost the father, who is a pastor, his livelihood. What a mess. I’d rather be in the dark…
When someone is in a position of leadership – whether a teacher, politician, or pastor, I think they are held to a higher standard of accountability and responsibility because of their influence. What had me shaking my head was the condition of our world and how people that we have looked up to and considered our leaders seemed to have lost their way, even those who have embraced and taught biblical values and a relationship with God. There is so much confusion in the world. Teen suicides are at an all-time high. Even political parties seem to have changed the values for which they once stood. What has happened to the condition of peoples’ hearts? When did the lines between right and wrong become so blurred?
All I could do in those moments was to pray for this pastor and his family. During his tenure at my previous church, I served under his leadership for several years and found great value and humor in his teachings, and his books contributed to my spiritual growth. I wanted to put him and other leaders up on a pedestal. But we live in a fallen world. We are human beings and none of us is perfect. We will all have to answer for our actions.
We have to stop looking to people to be our answer. Your husband or wife is not the answer. Your pastor is not the answer. The president is not the answer. For me, Jesus is the answer. I don’t just look at him as a prophet or a wise teacher. I am a Christ follower and believe in the Trinity of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Those of you who may be reading this may have other beliefs, religious or otherwise. Even though I was raised in my faith from childhood, my faith is very personal and real to me. There comes a time in one’s life when you make a choice as to what you believe. Who or what you will follow. To those who want to lump all Christians into a specific category of others who profess this faith but don’t show God’s love to others, that is not who I am.
I don’t care what your religion is, what your color is, or what political party you follow. If you claim allegiance to any organization, belief system, political party, have wealth and material things but “have not LOVE”, it is all for nothing. (I Corinthians 13). If you think I am foolish for what I believe, what I can tell you is that what I believe is a WIN-WIN for me. If I am trying to be more like Jesus in the way I live my life, and if what I believe isn’t true after I leave this earth, I will have lost nothing. But if what I believe IS true, I WILL HAVE GAINED EVERYTHING. If you are someone who is on the fence, I would encourage you to pick up a Bible and start reading the gospels to start understanding who Jesus is.
What people are doing today is worrying too much about what others think of how they look physically, how many “likes,” followers, and views we can get from people we don’t even know, will probably never meet, and many who have ulterior motives. Perhaps people should look inward and focus more on the spiritual aspect of their lives and how pretty their hearts are, instead of constant selfies with their pouty, glossed lips, long eyelashes, and new high heels. There are few people who can do both well.
Once you have a more spiritual focus, you will experience the peace and acceptance you’ve looked for in other things. And I don’t believe that everyone is all good or all bad; we all have many facets to our personalities as the complex human beings we are. As far as that pastor, I choose to take with me what was positive that I learned from him instead of dwelling on his failings.
So, would I rather be in the dark? My answer is “no.” I always joke that I would have made a great private investigator. And some of the things I uncovered in my own relationships made me angry, sad, and even scared. But my gut instinct in those situations told me something was not right, so finding out what I did allowed me to know the reality of a situation and then decide how I was going to deal with it. I would rather be in the light, and Jesus is the Light. The Light that has overcome the world.
