Living For The Future

Are you always looking at your watch? Waiting for your lunch break or for the 5:00 work bell to ring? Doing too much daydreaming?

We all have dreams and hopes for our future. Plans for holidays and vacations. We save money for retirement, our first house, a new car. And our plans for the future are directly affected by how we live in the NOW. If you never put money aside for retirement, you wouldn’t have that nest egg built up on which to live when retirement day comes. It’s always good to look ahead.

But in the midst of your dreams and plans, are you living more for what COULD be or what WILL be instead of living in the reality of the here-and-now?

I’ll give you an example. A lot of people think their self-worth is based on whether or not they are married or in a relationship with someone, and from a young age they dream of finding that special someone. They want someone to love and someone who loves them back SO MUCH, sometimes unaware that they are choosing to be with people that need fixing. They want to influence their partner in a positive way to become a better person. To stop those bad habits. To seek spirituality. To become emotionally mature and available. Spending a lot of time on wishing and hoping instead of finding the joy and the lesson in their time of singleness.

But you can’t find your worth in how someone else feels about you. You’ve heard that “two halves make a whole.” But in the relationship world, it takes two “wholes” to make one healthy relationship. You will not find what you need in another person to complete you. You need to find your own self-worth in who you are without that other person – in who God created you to be as a person with talents and personality traits that are unique to only you.

When you don’t feel secure in a relationship you can always be looking forward to the NEXT phone call or the NEXT date instead of living in the reality of those moments. You are dreaming so much about the future and what MIGHT happen that you don’t enjoy the experience itself for what it is.

Kodak Moments

The Kodak moments of our lives are generally few and far between. Christmas only comes once a year. And so does our birthday. (Although I know people who stretch out the celebration for their entire birthday month!)

It isn’t realistic to expect every day to be to be worthy of a photo album. Most days are monotonous repeats of the day before. So we have to take the 24 hours we’re in and do our best to see what THAT day has in store for us, to make the most of it, and to find some meaning and beauty in the monotonous.

We can’t be in a constant state of dopamine-driven euphoria. We need to experience both the highs and lows of life in order to be able to cope with all types of situations, to show gratitude for the highs after a period of lows, and to be able to assist someone else who has gone through the same lows that we have. If we’ve been there, we can provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and also to celebrate the joys of life along with them.

None of knows what tomorrow holds. It’s such a cliché, but it’s the truth. Life can change in a moment, and you may be busy planning for a specific future that will turn out looking quite different than what you ever envisioned.

There ARE some things for which we have to plan, but don’t get so involved in the planning that you pass the day by that is right in front of you. If you’re like me, this living-in-the-moment stuff will take some practice. Don’t expect to do a “180” right away. Like anything new that you incorporate into your life it helps to have attainable goals so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. And you’re more likely to achieve that goal if you take baby steps.

Look forward to that vacation, that baby that’s coming, or exploring the new city to which you’ve decided to relocate. But also, be grateful for the 1440 minutes in today; you will never have them again.